Episode Transcript
Today I'm so excited to sit down with Mary Beth Perroni. She is a co founder of Radiate Wellness. Prior to Radiate Wellness, Marybeth started 810 Showroom in New York City, which was a fashion wholesale business.
Marybeth is a mom of two, and she is a friend of mine, and I am very much looking forward to chatting with her about how she has navigated a successful entrepreneurial career and being a mom.
Hey. Hello. How are you today? You know the kids are at school. Yes. How are you? Everyone can take a deep breath back to a schedule. Isn't that crazy? I feel like I need the kids' schedule as an entrepreneur to have a schedule. Absolutely. It helps immensely. And you know how many hours you have to crank things out.
I say I can fit a whole week worth of work in, in one day know 'cause you have to crank it. You have to. Chris and I were talking and he was like, I think your one hour of work is equivalent to like an average person's nine hours. I would agree. Yes. I think. I think that's 'cause of kids though.
Because it is, you had to figure it out. Yes, it is absolutely because of kids you have from the time you drop 'em off to the time you pick 'em up and a whole lot has to happen in between. Right. And then when they're babies, it's like, okay, they're gonna nap for one hour, probably 90 minutes. They'll get run rem Cyclin and then they'll wake up and that's all I got 90 minutes to get. Everything done that I need for the whole day. Yeah. Make a lot of calls and then when they go back to sleep, you kick it up again. So kick it again. Mm-hmm. Speaking of, you started your first business when you had a baby, or because you had a baby? Yes. Right. So I, I was a sales rep traveling all over the country and to California and all that, and having a baby, I was like, I need to start my own business, so I'm not having this.
Crazy travel schedule. Well, the joke was on me because when I thought my schedule was gonna become lighter, little did I know. Owning a business is 24 7. It never stops, and there's always a. A problem on the weekends. It's just never ending.. Yeah. , so it, you started the business 'cause you were pregnant with Addie and you're like, I want more. Freedom. I wanted more flexibility and freedom. So I thought, Hey, I'm gonna have this baby.
I have this on autopilot. I know how to do this. Mm-hmm. This is gonna be a great transition. So I laugh because there's days that she was in the baby Bjorn and I'm, you know, rocking her and hanging samples and. Just a juggling act. We were living in New York City and my husband was working, tennis.
There's actually tennis courts at Grand Central Station, which most people do not know. Oh, didn't know that, where on the roof there in the actual building. Oh. So he was working there and we would literally do a baton pass off of the stroller in Grand Central. So I would leave the office, we would meet in Grand Central and he would go to work in the afternoon.
So what was that like? How did you do it all? I think that I did it all. But what I now can look back, 2020 hindsight, I feel like there was a part of my career that I lost my intuitive gut because I was listening to everyone else because I was on the grind.
Mm-hmm. And so I was fitting in so much and juggling kids and I'm definitely a very present mom and I always pick my family before anything. Yeah. But that came with sacrifice, with employees. And I realize that now. I did for a minute. I was listening more to my employees than my intuitive gut, and I think that was a real eye-opener.
Yeah. And then I think we also have to have grace on ourselves as entrepreneurs. Yeah. Because it's lonely. Yeah. And you can't really talk about the bigger problems with employees and. My husband has probably heard enough about all my businesses to last a lifetime, so finding community and other entrepreneur women is so, so important.
I wish I had done that earlier in my career as well. Yeah, I feel like when I started my business, I didn't trust my gut either, and I think it was because I was a new mom and so I'd been out of the traditional workforce, and so I felt like they must know more than. Me. , I know that sounds silly, but I don't know if that just comes with being a mom and then other people being in what's quote unquote like normal versus what you're doing.
Well, I think there's also mom guilt a real thing, right? Yeah. So I think that sometimes too, losing that gut, should I be doing what other people are doing? Yeah. Or you feel bad that you're traveling or that you lead, , a different life than other, women. And I will say that. I think my proudest moments is my kids telling me how proud they are of me, that I follow my dreams and when I put on an event or anything through my career, it makes me realize that sometimes when I had that mom guilt, they were watching me the whole way through.
Yeah. And are proud that I've, done these things, so that feels really nice. Yeah. I think that 'cause your kids are older now, so they can like articulate that. Mm-hmm. And so probably in those beginning years when they were little, you were like, Is this worth it? Should I be staying home and like making cookie cutter sandwiches?
I, I was the mom that would buy the cookies and put 'em on a plate and pass them as my own, but that's okay. I think there's , a lot of self sacrifice of my own self too, because I remember. I would leave at three 30 in the morning, get on the first flight to, LaGuardia, get there at six from Florida, do meetings all day, take the nine 30 flight home, sometimes not get back until three 30 and have a 24 hour day to make an event for my kids.
Yeah. And so I would just go, go, go, go, go. And , I was in drive mode autopilot. So yeah, it feels nice that now I've kind of become a little more aware that yes, it's important, but you also have to have that balance. Yeah. And I did not have balance at all in the beginning , do you think that you can do it all with balance?
Or do you think like to be a mom, , a present mom and then a good business woman, you have to kinda lose yourself? I think it's also evolving and some things come with age. Yeah. I wish my 40 year old self can talk to my 30 year old self. Right. Because, I look back now and look at my journey, but I was definitely a control freak and didn't like to delegate out things.
You know, I had a manufacturer I worked with for 20 years and he would, make me laugh 'cause he'd say, repeat something back to me. And I would say what he said, I am the cause that sticks with me through everything I do because we are the cause of our stress, we are the cause of our unbalance.
I would repeat that to myself and have to make some adjustments and I was never the family with the clean house or the food on the table. So yes, there's sacrifices. Yeah, I am a master order outer. I can order anyone a quick meal. But you know, there is things that we do give up to get something else, but that's life, right?
Yeah. So it's about priorities. I heard a woman, it was like a mind shift change for me. I was at an event in March and she was talking about how you should outsource things that don't bring you joy , if you can afford to do so.
Right. And so her thing was I love meal planning. I hate making the meals. You know? Mm-hmm. And so she would do the meal planning, but her husband loved cooking, but neither of them found joy in cleaning, they hated it. They would just sit there and it would take them a whole day to do what a normal person could do in an hour 'cause it's just they dreaded it, and so they outsourced cleaning. So I came home and I was like, I need a cleaner because I, it does not bring me joy. No. It brings me much anger inside me too. I get it. everyone goes, uhoh mom clean today. Because that's the only time they actually see me snappy.
I think about something that someone said to me, and it's true, it'll be really sad when my house is clean 'cause that means the kids are gone and the joy of having toys every which way are gone. And that to me sounds more just sad to me, sad. So I kind of embrace the mess and I embrace the chaos because we're the house that all the kids come to, and that is always what I wanted and I love it. I want to. To be the mom that the kids love and trust. I've seen you with your kids you guys have an actual relationship and they're older and that's, I think what you strive for.
And I think that you wonder how can I. Rise in my career or start a business , and then also preserve this thing that's sacred and special. . I think a really big part of that too is being present when you're there, right?
Yeah. I traveled a lot, but when I was there, I doubled down and really, Sat and listened. And I think we're so busy with our lives, people, even though they feel like they've given the time to their kids, that they're home with their kids, they're not even paying attention to them. Yeah. They're on the phone, they're half listening.
One thing I've done since my kids have been little, I take them each on a date. Yeah. Every other week that I have that one-on-one time. And when you get outta the house out of your environment and just one-on-one with your kids . They share
and I think the greatest parenting advice if you have teenagers is taking walks with them. Mm. Because when you're not looking one-on-one into their eyes, they share more. So walk. Oh, interesting. The walking is always where a lot comes out. So I've noticed of my teenagers having a bad day and she, acts like she's not.
I'm like, get up, put on your running shoes. We're going for a walking. It usually all comes out on the walk. So yeah, car rides and walks. I love it. Mm-hmm. Did you invite your kids into the journey, of your business and talk to them about it?
So they kind of felt like they were a part of what you were creating? So I think that little ears are always listening. I don't think I intentionally brought them into it, but I think they would hear me on the phone all the time.
So sometimes when my 10 year old repeats stuff, I'm like, oh man, he was listening. 'cause he is the master negotiator, he puts me to shame. So it's pretty funny. And like a really great like round circle moment is just last year my daughter flew to Miami with me and worked a trade show, and I was like this is what I've waited for.
Yeah. Like to have this, this help As entrepreneurs you have , your highest of the high days and the lowest of the lows and those low days. When you just wanna give up and throw in the towel and you've had enough, or you've had a huge problem that seems hard to fix, you have to pick yourself up. And I always say, life's not about how many times you fall and it's about how many times you could pick yourself up. And I feel like I have dusted myself off thousands of times through three companies and a lot of problems, right? I say I'm like the master problem solver.
'cause there's always something coming at you. Some sort of problem. I've come from a place of calm now where early in my career when there'd be a disaster, like one was really not, it's a fun story to share now, but , , we had sold denim and it was rubbing off.
So this woman got a brand new B m W with tan seats and the oh, the. Jeans ruined her brand new car. And at that point in my, you know, 28 years old, I was like, oh my gosh, what am I gonna do? Well now a problem comes like that. It's like you can handle it better and hit it head on. Like where at 28 I just wanted to turtle up and hide and not have to deal with her.
Right. But now it's like, okay, we've made a mistake. We need to be accountable and hit it head on and keep it moving. So, Different approaches at different ages. . So what made you start a new business? I closed up a very, very, financially successful business to, to go after something that was gonna be starting from ground zero again.
But it aligned with my heart. Yeah. And if I am gonna lie and say, there wasn't days that I was like, why did I do that? But I had to, look at how my heart aligns now and like what I want and how I wanna help women. And so I took , the leap in. There's days that I'm like, you built something for 20 years, it was on autopilot.
Why would you jump ship and go after something else? But then when I hear women email me and say that I've changed their lives, I'm like, it was worth it. Right? Yeah. It was worth it because what are we here for? Right. To make change hopefully. Right. And I think , as you get older, it's not about chasing the money anymore so much as like, Purpose.
Okay. I think that moms have superpowers. We do have superpowers for sure. And my husband is very efficient. He does operations. That's his job, is to make things efficient. But somehow, I still feel like because I was a mom, my efficiency level is like out of this world.
But I think being a mom gives you this like ability to kind of do it all. Yeah. They say you can't multitask. I've read so many articles be like, yo, you can't actually multitask. I think a man wrote that article 'cause I know that I successfully do it.
Mm-hmm. And I think that . We know that we have to make certain things happen. Like two of my most amazing employees ever, were both moms, but I laughed because we were always the three sitting at our desk eating our lunch for the other girls who were younger would go out and take an hour.
Like we just wanted to grind through. Yeah, get out, and , I see different things that we did in different habits I think we had as moms because it's just this switch that we're like, okay, put your head down, get it done.
Yeah. And then close that chapter and now you're with kids. Close that chapter, go back to work at night. It's like just really being intentional , in the drive. Right. Yeah.
The business I'm in now of women's wellness, it's very supportive and women really lift women, and I've met some of the most fantastic women. Mm-hmm. The fashion industry, very different. Cutthroat. Cutthroat. Especially in New York, like I had some Atlanta owners that I was friends with, but in New York, it was very doggy dog and not a lot of support and I didn't have any mentors and, I think I missed out on that. I wish I did. Yeah. I think it is lonely. Mm-hmm. And I think it's hard 'cause you can't relate to the moms mm-hmm. That your kids are gonna school with 'cause they're working, but it's not the same. Mm-hmm. And then you can't really relate with counterparts.
'cause most of them don't have kids or they're men and so then there's, not relatability there. And it feels. Kind of isolating to do all of the things. Mm-hmm. At one time. Mm-hmm. Our poor husbands, I always laugh 'cause I say my husband was a psychology major to marry me 'cause he never used his de degree in that thing.
But to manage me, I'm sure it comes in really handy. Yeah. He's like, ah, he did it just prayed. But , he has been so supportive and when I wanna try something new or, you know, he's like go for it. He always supports me.
I remember like when I would have to tell him like, I have to go to Italy on a business trip, and I would see his face and I would feel bad and I'm like, I'm going for work, but I would have my own guilt and the own story I was telling myself.
'cause , here he has to pick up all the pieces at home again, where, I'm going off somewhere else and I would like. Stamp myself up for the conversations like, all right, is he in a good mood now I'm gonna tell him I'm taking a business trip. And I remember one time that I did not even tell him till like two days before I, I was going to California because , I had just gone to Canada.
And it was like creeping up and creeping up. I'm like, this is ridiculous. I can't believe I'm behaving this way like a child. And finally I was like so by the way, I have to go to California for this trip.
And he is like, and when did you know about this trip? I'm like, oh yeah, I, what is, no. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So there was a lot of him picking up pieces for sure. Yeah. I think it's interesting 'cause we talk about the man picking up the pieces, but if the role was switched,
there's not as much societal pressure and guilt I think on men to, to do that. And they just let you know. And from what I see, there's not a discussion like, right. I think when we tell them, there's this discussion like, well, why do you have to go and what meteor you're going to?
They were like, I have to go to this meeting. You never, let's just accept it. Yeah. Yeah. Just like in the way that we've created our society, , the woman does all of these things. And so if she's gone , and our husbands are great and they can do all the things, but there's still that pressure to feel like, oh, I'm leaving you with the burden of our family that we chose to have and create.
And if you wanna talk about it real, like it does affect your relationship traveling so much because I'm very close with my husband and I remember coming home from trips and you're on this kind of high and then you are so excited to be home. But you're back in the grind and the routine and Groundhog's day and making the lunches and , there's this balance of energy personally because you wanna be so excited to be home, but There is this little hard part of like reconnecting.
And I have to say like of all my years of traveling, when Covid hit and travel stopped, I really saw a different level of soul connection with my husband because I wasn't switching the energy all the time. And I don't think we get to really be honest and talk about that stuff. And I think that, , there is a lot of pressure.
On women that, , have the careers that are traveling , there's different things that we do have to manage that we don't really talk about. And it's important because, yeah, I think it's a part of it. We talk about the kids a lot and like how that works, but relationship wise, there's a lot to navigate just with your spouse and what that looks like.
You know, I had a friend that would tell me, because my kids. For my total world. And she's like, you need to put your husband first because that trickles down. And I remember her saying that, and. Then I would really try the same amount of presence I would give my kids. Mm-hmm.
Then I started to give that exact same way to my husband and very intentional. Mm-hmm. Energy and time where it wasn't like just sitting on the couch talking, I would be like, can we go on a date? Or me being the one to be like, can we go on this date? Can we go to dinner? And really me shifting the roles, like it wasn't his responsibility to always to do that.
Pursue that. Yeah. Yeah. And me pushing it because I realized I was losing , this. Connection that I desperately needed. Even though we were good, there's cycles when you feel closer. And I think too, , when you do even go out on a date, you're talking about the kids or the business.
I know. And so sometimes I'm like, wait, we have to talk about something other than our kids. You have to have another, yeah. Like there has to be something else, but, but that is what's is your whole world at that point. And so I remember like sometimes going out to dinner and I was like, oh my God. , let's just stop talking about work and the kids for one moment.
And then I'd be like, what do you wanna talk about?
If you were talking to some woman and she's like I wanna grow in my corporate career, or I wanna start something, but I just had kids, or I have kids, and I don't know if it's possible or how to do it, what piece of advice would you give her to encourage her to try or do it?
I think building community is really important. Yeah. And I think that it's, Being honest, , you know, it's like when you have a baby and they're not really honest and they give you this child and you're like, is there an instruction booklet? , and I think it's the same thing, like if you are gonna start a business or you're moving up in the corporate ladder, it's not easy.
If it was easy, everyone would do it. Yeah. And there's gonna be sacrifices, but it's really priorities and thinking about the priority and the outcome you want, and then everything in between. And I always say whatever your priority is, Make sure that you keep that as a priority and you look at the outcome you want and together you can make it work.
But I think. A community of women. So women want to help you. And I've realized that like when I was the mom that wanted to pretend like I could do it all, right? Mm-hmm. Like I could, drive them to school, I could do that. , I didn't reach out for help. And I remember moving to Lencia and it's this community and.
Everyone's like, why don't you just ask me to pick up your kid? And I'm like, wait, , you would pick up my kid too. And when I started to ask, , we all want to help each other. And I found this great community and life became so much easier because I know if I was on a business trip, there's five mothers that someone had my back out of the five, we would have a a group chat and I would be like, I'm not making it back on time.
Who can help me? And there's always someone there to help me and I. When I tapped into that, I'm like, wow, this is how it's supposed to be. This is awesome. Yeah. I think that community is huge. I think more people are willing to help than. You think if you give them the opportunity they want to and it's vice versa. 'cause like I feel so happy to be able to reciprocate with my friends and those other five moms. Like you know, if they're going through something, I love taking their kids.
When you have that community of the right people Yeah, life is a lot easier. A lot easier. When we lived in Japan, I felt so much of that community
that was the way that their country is designed. It was around thinking about the community and around thinking about support. And I feel like America has so many beautiful aspects to it. Like we can create businesses as women and that's huge and not possible in most other countries, but we are very isolated in a lot of ways and feel very much like we have to do it all on our own for it to count or for us to be successful.
There's hopefully starting to be a shift where people are more like, no, we need that community. I think we have a lot of programming that we don't even realize that we have. Yeah, and I think that comes from the programming and I think even just looking , 50 years ago of women in business to now into how all these shifts are, playing a part.
I do see shifts happening and kind of breaking down that programming a little bit.
Yeah. And I think it happens because of women like you, right, who are doing these things and the hard things in front of your kids. So now Addie feels like when she's an adult woman, she. Can do it all. 'cause you did it all, or I just think as more women openly change, I, I think I read somewhere it takes like three generations for like an actual change to happen in society because you have the first one that kind of starts it, and then the middle ones that have lived half in the old and half in the new, and then the third generation is just, that's all they know.
And so that's where the change, like you see it, but it takes so long. Yeah, and I think it's beautiful to think that what we're putting out there, our kids are then gonna be able to pull forward. We always. Say that we wanna give our kids a little bit better than we had. And that's what we can strive for. But I think it's also important to teach my kids whatever brings them happiness. So, I always drive home to them, success is not money. Yeah. Success is happiness and whatever that looks like in your journey.
Like that's what all of us want as mothers, right? Yeah. Is our kids to be happy. And yeah, just talking to so many different moms on the first day of school and I had moms crying meltdowns 'cause their kid had a terrible day and we're as happy as the saddest one. You know, if one of our kids are sad, we feel the sadness too.
So yeah, there's a lot that goes into. Parenting, working and everything in between. It's a lot, but it's possible. It is possible. We're doing it, girl. We're doing it. And I think community makes it better. Yeah. Or more so, so. Mm-hmm. Well, I thank you for sitting with me. I always love talking to you, so great, fun, formal settings.
Yeah. Thank you for all the work you're doing for women and helping 'em through their journey. It's amazing. You too. Thank you. Thank you. All right. I'll talk to you again. Bye.
